I have been with a man for 2 years, we live together, our finances are comingled and we are about to have our 1st child. My boyfriend tells me he loves me but, we have 2 different lifestyles. I attend church, while my boyfriend stays at home, I have never tried to force it on him, he likes to go to the bar and hang out with his friends. When the conversation of marriage comes up, he tells me that one day we will get married. What should I do?
Let him know what you need out of the relationship, set some limits and if he can't agree to it maybe it's time to move on. I know it's hard, but you don't want to end up w/ a baby and feel trapped. Two people have to be on the same page concerning marriage, children, etc for it to work. Require him to come to church w/ you at least once a month. Sit down and work on a timefame that you botb
ReplyDeleteh agree to and take it from there. You need to feel happy and
secure in your relationship. Especially before you commit to marrige. Good luck and God bless!
My Dear Sister:
ReplyDeleteWhen I started this blog, I knew I would have to be honest even when I may not have a popular answer to share. When reading your question, I had to pray that I would tell you what I thought God would want you to know. If you are going to live the life of Godly woman, you have to be an example. You know that sex before marriage is not in accordance to God's word, nor is being unequally yoked so how can you honestly expect God to give you and this relationship provision, when you're not in his will. This does not mean a death sentence for this relationship but, it does mean making some serious adjustments soon to line up with the Word of GOD. If finances permit you may need to get your own place or if not, you should begin to sleep separate from your boyfriend. Before, God can honor you, you must put God 1st. Take a stand for your life as a Godly woman, begin to pray for your boyfriend, and ask God for the wisdom to do his will. Don't be afraid because once you step into Gods will he can begin to work on this situation and your boyfriend will know you are serious. Take the 1st step to getting it right by doing what's right.
You have my prayer and blessings always:
Lady Melissa E. West
One thing my mother said that has always stuck with me is "how you begin your relationship is how it will alays be." I truly believe that is is the truth, not just from my relationships but from what I have seen of relationships around me. The changes that you are looking for are going to have to come from you not him. As lady Melissa said, you may have to move out and take a different stance with him. That does not mean the relationship has to end, though it may and that is something you may have to be prepared for. But if he loves you his whole perspective will change and the relationship just may blossom into that marriage that you are looking for. Sometimes we make ourselves readily available to men, he has the home, the baby, so marriage can come later. Set your standards high, you will be surprised at the results. And if he knows GOD the rest will come.
ReplyDeleteI heard someone say once, "whatever you compromise to keep, you will eventually lose anyway." From my own experience, I know that this is true. I have compromised on my morals, personal desires, and concept of what a relationship to be, all to try to keep a man I am no longer with. I was left alone and full of hurt, bitterness, and regret. Love yourself and know that you deserve the best. You are royalty. If you would truly like to make things work with this man, state what you expect out of your relationship and do not budge. In your private time, pray for clarity as for what to do next and strength to obey whatever God tells you to do. Your boyfriend will eventually do one of two things...step his game up or leave. The second option may be painful at first, but I have learned to thank God for severed ties too. After all, God could have someone else for you but you will overlook him if you are too consumed with your current relationship. God bless.
ReplyDelete